Talk:Shanghai/GA2

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Bobbychan193 (talk · contribs) 23:46, 24 September 2019 (UTC)

Hey there! I'll be reviewing this article over the next few days. Please be patient, and let me know if you have any questions or concerns. I've lived in Shanghai for a number of years, so this should be fun. Bobbychan193 (talk) 23:46, 24 September 2019 (UTC)

Lead

Prose  Done

Make sure all information in the lead is repeated and cited in the body of the article.  Done Akira CA (talk) 10:55, 29 September 2019 (UTC) I suggest moving all citations into the body of the article and keeping the lead clean and free of citations (see MOS:LEADCITE) Non-controversial ones  Done, but citations are probably needed for claims like "Shanghai is a global financial hub." (see Singapore) and numbers (see Seattle). Akira CA (talk) 14:08, 27 September 2019 (UTC) "It is the most populous urban area in China, and the second most populous city proper in the world (after Chongqing)." Before this sentence, add With a population of 24.2 million {{as of|2018|lc=y}}, [...] for better context  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:08, 27 September 2019 (UTC) Try to split up the middle paragraph; it's a little long. Maybe at "During World War II, [...]"  Done, but before another sentence. Akira CA (talk) 14:08, 27 September 2019 (UTC) Expand the last paragraph. Try include a sentence (or at least part of a sentence) on each of the following topics: Shanghai cuisine, the Shanghai Free-Trade Zone, Shanghainese, culture (visual arts, cinema, performing arts, etc.)  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:08, 27 September 2019 (UTC) There are a lot of famous events held in Shanghai every year (Shanghai Fashion Week, Shanghai Art Festival, Shanghai Tour Festival, Shanghai Movie and Television Festival, Chinese Grand Prix, Shanghai Masters, etc.); say something like "Shanghai hosts numerous international events, [...]" then either list 4 to 5 of the most famous ones, or say "spanning numerous industries including fashion, entertainment, and sports"  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:08, 27 September 2019 (UTC) "As a major administrative, shipping, and trading city, Shanghai grew in importance in the 19th century" this seems a bit weird, since this paragraph talks about Shanghai's history. Was Shanghai "a major administrative, shipping, and trading city" in or before the 19th century? Probably not. The word "major" is also subjective. I would replace this entire phrase with a segue from early history, like "Originally a fishing village and market town, Shanghai grew [...]"  Done Akira CA (talk) 13:24, 28 September 2019 (UTC)

Infobox  Done

"Dong Yunhu" add citation  Done Akira CA (talk) 13:24, 28 September 2019 (UTC) "($494 billion)(11th)" add space in between  Done Akira CA (talk) 13:24, 28 September 2019 (UTC) Why is $494 billion in parentheses, while $20,425 isn't? Be consistent  Done Akira CA (talk) 13:24, 28 September 2019 (UTC) "沪A-沪B, 沪D-沪H, 沪J-沪N" change hyphens to en dashes (–)  Done Akira CA (talk) 13:24, 28 September 2019 (UTC)

Prose

Overall reminders and comments

• Make sure there aren't any duplicate Wikilinks throughout the body of the article; see MOS:LINK (and specifically MOS:DL)
  •  Done But there is a whole section on Shanghai FTZ, and the link to the FTZ has appeared earlier. Shall I still delete the link in this case? Akira CA (talk) 12:00, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
    • For these kinds of situations, what you can do is use the {{main}} template, then delete duplicate links.
      • Great idea,  Done Akira CA (talk) 06:36, 29 September 2019 (UTC)
• Use American English (per the article's talk page)
  •  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:09, 27 September 2019 (UTC)
• "10 meters (33 feet) high and 5 kilometers (3 miles)" abbreviate all units in parentheses (i.e. imperial units). Also abbreviate things like "square kilometers"
  •  Done Akira CA (talk) 03:08, 6 October 2019 (UTC)
• Try to be consistent throughout the article (i.e. "Old City", "mainland China", serial comma, etc.)
  • Gotcha Akira CA (talk) 03:08, 6 October 2019 (UTC)
• There's only a few citations left in the lead. Some of the information that they're citing isn't repeated in the body of the article. We should make sure we do that, then move the citations down. Bobbychan193 (talk) 05:42, 20 October 2019 (UTC)
  •  Done for now Bobbychan193 (talk) 07:49, 22 October 2019 (UTC)
• If you have time, add alternative text to all of the images
• We should expand the Economy section. For starters, we should add a section titled "Foreign trade and investment" that includes exports, imports, foreign investment, etc.

Subsections

Etymology  Done

"Upon-the-Sea" delete hyphens (unless written like this in a citation) (also change this in the infobox)  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:24, 28 September 2019 (UTC) "at which time" change to "when"  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:24, 28 September 2019 (UTC) "There are disputes as to exactly how the name should be understood" change to "How the name should be understood has been disputed"  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:24, 28 September 2019 (UTC) "during the Tang dynasty Shanghai" comma after dynasty  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:24, 28 September 2019 (UTC) Resolve the "clarification needed" tag  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:24, 28 September 2019 (UTC) There are several citations that simply provide Traditional Chinese and Shanghainese versions of Simplified Chinese characters. Try to change these into notes instead of citations. Use these codes: {{#tag:ref|Insert note here.<ref>Insert citation here.</ref>|group=note}} and {{reflist|group=note}} (See Vietnam and the World Bank and its source code as an example.)  Done Akira CA (talk) 06:36, 29 September 2019 (UTC) "a contraction of 沪渎 (Hù Dú/Vu Doh, lit "Harpoon Ditch"),[22][23] a 4th- or 5th-century Jin name for the mouth of Suzhou Creek when it was the main conduit into the ocean.[22]" The first [22] citation can be deleted since everything is in the same sentence.  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:24, 28 September 2019 (UTC) "This character appears on all motor vehicle license plates issued in the municipality today." I know this is "common sense", but it's best to add a citation.  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:24, 28 September 2019 (UTC) "Sports teams and newspapers in Shanghai" change to "Shanghainese sports teams and newspapers"  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:24, 28 September 2019 (UTC) "established by the Governor of Wu Commandery Zhao Juzhen at modern-day Songjiang" change to "established by Zhao Juzhen, the governor of Wu Commandery at modern-day Songjiang" (note that "Governor" should be lowercase)  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:25, 28 September 2019 (UTC) "Today" this is problematic, because the reader (as well as fellow editors) don't know when the last time this was fact-checked or updated. Change to an "as of" template. Also try to find and add a more recent citation than the one from 2004.  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:24, 28 September 2019 (UTC) "The city also has various nicknames in English" delete "also"  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:24, 28 September 2019 (UTC)

History  Done

Ancient / Imperial history  Done "the Shanghai area" was Shanghai already a defined area during this time period? If not, change this to "the area of modern-day Shanghai"  Done Akira CA (talk) 11:10, 1 October 2019 (UTC) Starting to see some duplicate Wikilinks, such as Lord Chunshen. Just a reminder to go through the entire article and make sure there aren't any duplicates.  Done Akira CA (talk) 12:02, 28 September 2019 (UTC) Cite the last sentence ending with "abbreviation for the city."  Done Akira CA (talk) 11:10, 1 October 2019 (UTC) "fifth year" change to "the fifth year"  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:34, 1 October 2019 (UTC) "contemporary sources" vague. Say something like "contemporary scholars" if possible  I reviewed the source and substituted it with "historically". Akira CA (talk) 14:34, 1 October 2019 (UTC) "The famous Song scholar and artist Mi Fu served as its mayor." famous to whom? Either clarify, or delete "famous"  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:34, 1 October 2019 (UTC) "The port had a thriving trade" change to either "The port had a thriving trade relationship" or "The port experienced thriving trade"  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:34, 1 October 2019 (UTC) "as well as foreign countries" add "with" before "foreign"  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:34, 1 October 2019 (UTC) "By the end of the Song dynasty, the center of trading had moved downstream of the Wusong River to Shanghai, which was upgraded in status from a village to a market town in 1074, and in 1172 a second sea wall was built to stabilize the ocean coastline, supplementing an earlier dike." add comma after 1172. It's also a long sentence; split it up somewhere in the middle, like this: "By the end of the Song dynasty, the center of trading had moved downstream of the Wusong River to Shanghai. It was upgraded in status from a village to a market town in 1074, and in 1172, a second sea wall was built to stabilize the ocean coastline, supplementing an earlier dike."  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:34, 1 October 2019 (UTC) "whose" not sure if this is the right word. Rephrase  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:34, 1 October 2019 (UTC) "10 metres (33 feet) high and 5 kilometres (3 miles)" American spellings. There's a parameter in the convert template to do this  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:34, 1 October 2019 (UTC) "important psychological boost" what does this mean? Clarify  Deleted Akira CA (talk) 14:34, 1 October 2019 (UTC) "It probably reflected the town's economic importance, as opposed to its low political status." Rephrase to say "Scholars have theorized that this likely reflected the town's economic importance, as opposed to its low political status."  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:34, 1 October 2019 (UTC) "policy changes: In 1684" lowercase i  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:34, 1 October 2019 (UTC) "vessels – a ban" change en dash to em dash and delete spaces. Since the lead already uses em dashes, let's be consistent throughout the article and exclusively use em dashes in these kinds of situations  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:34, 1 October 2019 (UTC) "in 1732" add comma  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:34, 1 October 2019 (UTC) "by 1735 Shanghai had become the major trade port for all of the lower Yangtze region" change to "Shanghai became the major trade port for all of the lower Yangtze region by 1735"  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:34, 1 October 2019 (UTC) Rise and golden age  Done This section has only a few citations; make sure every fact and claim is cited.  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:29, 2 October 2019 (UTC) "International attention to Shanghai grew in the 19th century" move "in the 19th century" to the beginning of the sentence  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:29, 2 October 2019 (UTC) "The war ended with the 1842 Treaty of Nanking" change to "The war ended in 1842 with the Treaty of Nanking"  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:29, 2 October 2019 (UTC) "dictate opening the treaty ports, Shanghai included, for international trade" can we be more specific about "the treaty ports"? There were five Chinese cities opened as treaty ports right?  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:29, 2 October 2019 (UTC) "The Treaty of the Bogue signed in 1843, and the Sino-American Treaty of Wanghia signed in 1844 forced" change to "The Treaty of the Bogue and the Sino-American Treaty of Wanghia (signed in 1843 and 1844, respectively) forced"  Rephrased, but not sure if "1844 and 1844" is the right phrase to use. Akira CA (talk) 14:29, 2 October 2019 (UTC) "(under the 1844 Treaty of Whampoa)" probably not needed; delete  Rephrased Akira CA (talk) 14:29, 2 October 2019 (UTC) "fell to the rebels of the Small Swords Society" change to "fell to rebels from the Small Swords Society"  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:29, 2 October 2019 (UTC) "in 1853 but" missing comma  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:29, 2 October 2019 (UTC) "Between 1860–1862," change dash to "and"  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:29, 2 October 2019 (UTC) En dashes to em dashes. Won't be commenting on this again; try to change it throughout the rest of the article  Gotcha Akira CA (talk) 14:29, 2 October 2019 (UTC) "fled the newly established Soviet Union and took up residence in Shanghai" change to "fled the newly established Soviet Union to reside in Shanghai"  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:29, 2 October 2019 (UTC) "which were soon" change "were" to "was"  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:29, 2 October 2019 (UTC) "Far East" either link or explain  Sentence deleted Akira CA (talk) 14:29, 2 October 2019 (UTC) "Although the territory of the foreign concessions was excluded from their control" can we change this to say "Although the foreign concessions territories were excluded from their control"? Is this accurate? There were at least two separate territories right?  Yes Akira CA (talk) 14:29, 2 October 2019 (UTC) "kilometres" Amer. spelling  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:29, 2 October 2019 (UTC) "Baoshan, Yangpu, Zhabei, Nanshi, and Pudong" if these are the first instances of appearing in the body of the article, they should be linked (and duplicate links later on should be deleted)  Done Akira CA (talk) 12:22, 28 September 2019 (UTC) "when the plan was interrupted" change to "before being interrupted"  Done Akira CA (talk) 14:29, 2 October 2019 (UTC) Wartime era / Modern history  Done "The Battle of Shanghai in 1937 resulted in the occupation of the Chinese administered parts of Shanghai outside of the International Settlement and the French Concession." change to "In 1937, the Battle of Shanghai resulted in the occupation of the Chinese-administered parts of Shanghai outside of the International Settlement and the French Concession."  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:17, 2 October 2019 (UTC) "People who stayed in the occupied city of Shanghai saw no end to their suffering. They experienced death, hunger, destruction, and oppression on daily basis." change to "People who stayed in the occupied city suffered on a daily basis, experiencing hunger, oppression, or even death."  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:17, 2 October 2019 (UTC) "[...], during which time many war crimes were committed." change to "; many war crimes were committed during this time."  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:17, 2 October 2019 (UTC) "People's Republic of China" first instance; link  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:17, 2 October 2019 (UTC) "over the next decade" is used twice. I would delete the first instance, because even today, Shanghai, Beijing, and Tianjin are still their own provinces.  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:17, 2 October 2019 (UTC) "Shanghai underwent a series of changes in the boundaries of its subdivisions over the next decade. After 1949, most foreign firms moved their offices from Shanghai to Hong Kong, as part of a foreign divestment due to the Communist victory." both of these sentences are unsourced  First sentence deleted (it overlaps with the next paragraph). Second done. "divestment" link  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:17, 2 October 2019 (UTC) "the Communist victory" change to "the PRC's victory" or "the Liberation Army's victory"  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:17, 2 October 2019 (UTC) Some of these citations are incomplete. Specifically: "Problems and Planning in Third World Cities (Routledge Revivals), edited by Michael Pacione"; "Metropolitan Planning and Management in the Developing World: Shanghai and Guangzhou, China"; and "The Party: The Secret World of China Communist rulers". These seem like book titles, so do a quick online search and add any author names, publishers, publishing years, ISBNs, etc. you find.  Done Akira CA (talk) 06:20, 3 October 2019 (UTC) "86,300 hectares" "591,000 hectares" use the {{convert}} template. Replace hectares with square kilometers (km2 in the template), and have either acres or square miles in parentheses.  Done Akira CA (talk) 06:20, 3 October 2019 (UTC) Keep in mind MOS:LINK (and specifically MOS:DL)  Done Akira CA (talk) 06:20, 3 October 2019 (UTC) "the urban districts were reduced to 10." what does this mean? There were 10 districts left? This should be clarified. Either say how many districts there were before this reduction, or clarify how many districts got removed to get to this result of 10.  Done Akira CA (talk) 06:20, 3 October 2019 (UTC) "During the 1950s and 1960s, Shanghai became the center for radical leftism since it was the industrial center of China with most skilled industrial workers." change to "As the industrial center of China with most skilled industrial workers, Shanghai became a center for radical leftism during the 1950s and 1960s."  Done Akira CA (talk) 06:20, 3 October 2019 (UTC) "Yet, even during the most tumultuous times of the Cultural Revolution, Shanghai was able to maintain high economic productivity and relative social stability." subjective-sounding sentences like this should be cited  Rephrased according to this. Akira CA (talk) 06:20, 3 October 2019 (UTC) "During most of the history of the PRC, Shanghai has been a comparatively heavy contributor of tax revenue to the central government, with Shanghai in 1983 contributing more in tax revenue to the central government than Shanghai had received in investment in the prior 33 years combined." too long; cut it down. Something like "Since 1949, Shanghai has been a comparatively heavy contributor of tax revenue to the central government; in 1983, the city's contribution in tax revenue was greater than investment received in the past 33 years combined."  Done Akira CA (talk) 06:20, 3 October 2019 (UTC) "welfare" add "the"  Done Akira CA (talk) 06:20, 3 October 2019 (UTC) The final few sentences are all uncited  Done Akira CA (talk) 06:20, 3 October 2019 (UTC) "starting the massive development still seen today and the birth of Lujiazui in Pudong" change to "which started the massive development still seen today and created Lujiazui in Pudong"  Rephrased Akira CA (talk) 06:20, 3 October 2019 (UTC)

Geography  Done

Beginning section  Done I just noticed that "Old City" is not consistently capitalized throughout the article. I suggest making it all capitalized, unless there is a different usage for the near-identical phrase, "old city". (If so, let me know)  Done Akira CA (talk) 09:12, 4 October 2019 (UTC) "Municipality of Shanghai" add link (even though it currently redirects to another section in the same article, it can still be useful for readers, and an article might be created for it in the future)  Done Akira CA (talk) 09:12, 4 October 2019 (UTC) Add links: "Chongming Island", "island in mainland China" (the current link links to a redirect to List of islands of China, so might as well link that directly. It's unfortunate that the list is incomplete/not very useful, but oh well), "tributary", "sandy soil" (link to loam)  Done Akira CA (talk) Also link any regions/locations that are appearing for the first time in the article, and any terms that the average reader might not understand  Done Akira CA (talk) 09:12, 4 October 2019 (UTC) "This deep-water port was made necessary by the increasing size of container ships but also the silting of the Yangtze, which narrows to less than 20 meters (66 ft) as far out as 45 miles (70 km) from Hengsha." confusing sentence (clarify); change "ships but also" to "ships, as well as" for better flow (no pun intended) N Deleted, this is irrelevant to geography and already existed below OK. Bobbychan193 (talk) 02:27, 6 October 2019 (UTC) delete "that was"  Done Akira CA (talk) 09:12, 4 October 2019 (UTC) "The central financial district Lujiazui" add commas before and after Lujiazui  Done Akira CA (talk) 09:12, 4 October 2019 (UTC) "has grown up" weird phrasing. Change  How about "has been created"? Akira CA (talk) 13:33, 5 October 2019 (UTC) I changed it to "has been established". Bobbychan193 (talk) 02:31, 6 October 2019 (UTC) "occasioned by the creation" change to "due to the creation"  Done Akira CA (talk) 13:33, 5 October 2019 (UTC) Move "along the peninsula's eastern shore" to the beginning of the sentence, and add a comma  Done Akira CA (talk) 13:33, 5 October 2019 (UTC) "Shanghai's location on an alluvial plain means that" change to "Shanghai is located on an alluvial plain. As such, [...]"  Done Akira CA (talk) 13:33, 5 October 2019 (UTC) "The few hills such as She Shan lie to the southwest and the highest point is the peak of Dajinshan Island in Hangzhou Bay" change to "Shanghai's few hills, such as Sheshan, lie to the southwest, and the city's highest point is the peak of Dajinshan Island in Hangzhou Bay"  Done Akira CA (talk) 13:33, 5 October 2019 (UTC) "streams and lakes" missing serial comma  Done Akira CA (talk) 13:33, 5 October 2019 (UTC) Climate  Done "Winters are chilly and damp, with northwesterly winds from Siberia can cause nighttime temperatures to drop below freezing, although most years there are only one or two days of snowfall." change to "Winters are chilly and damp—northwesterly winds from Siberia can cause nighttime temperatures to drop below freezing, although in most years, there are only one or two days of snowfall."  Done Akira CA (talk) 03:27, 6 October 2019 (UTC) "Summers are hot and humid, with an average of 8.7 days exceeding 35 °C (95 °F) annually; occasional downpours or freak thunderstorms can be expected." change to "Summers are hot and humid, and occasional downpours or freak thunderstorms can be expected. On average, 8.7 days exceed 35 °C (95 °F) annually."  Done Akira CA (talk) 03:27, 6 October 2019 (UTC) "in summer and the beginning of autumn" move to beginning of sentence  Done Akira CA (talk) 03:27, 6 October 2019 (UTC) Delete "also" in "is also susceptible"  Done Akira CA (talk) 03:27, 6 October 2019 (UTC) "none of which in recent years has caused considerable damage" change to "which have not caused considerable damage in recent years"  Done Akira CA (talk) 03:27, 6 October 2019 (UTC) "The most pleasant seasons are" change to "The most pleasant seasons are generally"; change second "generally" to "usually"  Done Akira CA (talk) 03:27, 6 October 2019 (UTC) "on 21 July 2017" move this earlier to after "registered"  Done Akira CA (talk) 03:27, 6 October 2019 (UTC) Try to spread out the five citations at the end to make it easier for readers to find the sources for each claim.  Moved some, but deleted those on the same subject Add links for "Xujiahui" (either to Xujiahui or Xujiahui station; probably the latter; and add Xujiahui link for next appearance) and "China Meteorological Administration"  That's more likely to be a weather station, so I linked Xujiahui Cityscape  Done Add caption for first image. Say "The Pudong skyline"  Used Lujiazui instead Akira CA (talk) 00:23, 6 October 2019 (UTC) "Panoramic view of Pudong's skyline from the Bund" change to "Panoramic view of the Pudong skyline from the Bund" (note that image captions, tables, etc. are allowed to have duplicate links)  Done Akira CA (talk) 00:23, 6 October 2019 (UTC) "Panoramic view of the Bund" add "from Pudong" at the end  Done Akira CA (talk) 00:23, 6 October 2019 (UTC) Unrelated to the review, but I really like Shanghai's cityscape. It's great. Glad to hear that as I'm a native Shanghainese XD. Akira CA (talk) 00:23, 6 October 2019 (UTC) Architecture  Done The entire first paragraph is unsourced. Add at least one or two citations in there.  Done Akira CA (talk) 12:07, 7 October 2019 (UTC) Try to add extra sources to the rest of this section as well. The citations seem sparse.  Done Akira CA (talk) 12:07, 7 October 2019 (UTC) Add links (especially to famous buildings and architects) where possible. Redlinks are fine when "an article should be created for the topic because the subject is notable and verifiable". Use your own judgement here, and see WP:RED for more information.  Done Akira CA (talk) 12:07, 7 October 2019 (UTC) "art deco Sassoon House" capitalize Art Deco  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC) "one of the world's largest number of Art Deco buildings" any way to make this more concise? Also add citation How about simply "Shanghai has many Art Deco buildings"?  Cited Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC) Does the source you added support the claim? If so, what I changed it to is fine. Otherwise, delete and replace with "Shanghai has many Art Deco buildings" Bobbychan193 (talk) 05:18, 8 October 2019 (UTC) Yes, so it's fine. Akira CA (talk) 05:58, 8 October 2019 (UTC) "Hungarian-Slovak architect" delete architect  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC) "Mansions, and Austrian" change , to ;  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC) "Capital Theatre" American spelling unless "Theatre" is part of the official name  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC) "Dutch Architect" lowercase architect  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC) "In recent years, a great deal of architecturally distinctive and even eccentric buildings have sprung up throughout Shanghai." cut down on flowery language and/or add a citation  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC) "old city"  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC) "known as a longtang" delete "a"  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC) "pronounced longdang in Shanghainese" this seems like it should be in a note  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC) "The whole resembles terrace houses or townhouses commonly seen in Anglo-American countries, but distinguished by the tall, heavy brick wall in front of each house." confusing sentence, rephrase and clarify  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC) The entire next paragraph is uncited. Also try to make it sound more neutral/encyclopedic  Done Akira CA (talk) 05:58, 8 October 2019 (UTC) "Less than Beijing" what does this mean?  Changed to "fewer" Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC) "During this decade" 1949 to 1960s seems like more than a decade, so either clarify, or change "decade" to "time period"  Changed to "time period" Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC) "Shanghai Exhibition Centre" it seems that the article it links to calls it "Center", so I would change the spelling (and the link) to "Center"  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC) "The Pudong district of Shanghai is home to a number of skyscrapers, many of which rank among the tallest in the world." Aren't there skyscrapers outside of Pudong? Reword this sentence to something like "Shanghai—Pudong district in particular—has numerous skyscrapers, many of which are among the tallest in the world."  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC) Link "tallest in the world" to List of tallest buildings and structures (and delete duplicate link later on)  Rephrased so the first instance disappeared. Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC) "metres" throughout this paragraph: American spelling  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC) "ranks tenth in the world" change to "the tenth tallest in the world" N Deleted, the Shanghai Tower is explained in details instead (as it's the tallest now). Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC) "[...], as well as" change to "and"  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC) Also check if these rankings are still accurate. I don't know when the last time the article was updated; there might have been new skyscrapers.  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC) This section overall is very long. I recommend adding subsections so that its seven paragraphs can flow better. Some potential subsection headings: "20th-century architecture", "Contemporary architecture", "Shikumen", skyscrapers, etc. Some restructuring or re-ordering of paragraphs might be needed. Make sure to move relevant images to their own sections as well.  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC) Also try to expand or add a new paragraph about skyscrapers. Currently, only their heights are listed. Try to add some content about their architectural designs, as well as their functions.  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:04, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

Politics  Done

Structure  Done For the table, try to add some references where possible. I think this is especially important for the "Assumed office" row.  Done Akira CA (talk) 10:22, 9 October 2019 (UTC) "Like virtually all governing institutions in mainland China" try to add a link here somewhere to the article Politics of China  Done Akira CA (talk) 10:22, 9 October 2019 (UTC) "politics in Shanghai is structured in a parallel party-government system" this sounds a little awkward. Can we change to something like "Shanghai has a parallel party-government system"  Done Akira CA (talk) 10:22, 9 October 2019 (UTC) "party-government system" link if possible Cannot find any, if there are plz let me know. Akira CA (talk) 02:07, 14 October 2019 (UTC) No worries. Bobbychan193 (talk) 01:21, 15 October 2019 (UTC) "policy formulation" change to "policy-formulation"  Done Akira CA (talk) 10:22, 9 October 2019 (UTC) Add citation(s) for the latter half of the first paragraph.  Done Akira CA (talk) 02:07, 14 October 2019 (UTC) "is widely seen" by whom? Explain and/or cite (if this is referring to all of the past examples, change to say "has frequently been a stepping stone [...]")  Changed Akira CA (talk) 10:22, 9 October 2019 (UTC) Citations seem to be missing for Xi Jinping, Yu Zhengsheng, and Han Zheng. Add if possible.  Done Akira CA (talk) 02:07, 14 October 2019 (UTC) "corruption" link to Corruption in China  Done Akira CA (talk) 10:22, 9 October 2019 (UTC) New paragraph break before "Officials with ties [...]"  Done Akira CA (talk) 10:22, 9 October 2019 (UTC) "Officials with ties to the Shanghai administration form a powerful faction in the national government" reads awkwardly. Either add "collectively" before "form", or change "form" to "are part of" (whichever one seems more accurate)  Collectively Akira CA (talk) 10:22, 9 October 2019 (UTC) Cite the last sentence  Rephrased and cited Akira CA (talk) 02:07, 14 October 2019 (UTC) Administrative divisions  Done "Area in km2" change to "Area (km2)"  Done Akira CA (talk) 02:34, 15 October 2019 (UTC) For the "Divisions in Chinese and varieties of romanizations" table, add a row at the top explaining each of the columns: "District", "Chinese name", and "Pinyin" (I'm not sure what the last column is supposed to be)  The table actually has this row, but is somehow hidden. Akira CA (talk) 02:44, 14 October 2019 (UTC) If possible, add one citation for the entire table at the top (after "romanizations"). If there isn't a source for you to conveniently do this, don't worry about it. cannot find one for Shanghainese romanization :( Akira CA (talk) 04:13, 15 October 2019 (UTC) "Even though" change to "Although"  Done Akira CA (talk) 02:34, 15 October 2019 (UTC) "administration units are located in Huangpu District, which also serve" change "administration" to "administrative" and "serve" to "serves"  Done Akira CA (talk) 02:34, 15 October 2019 (UTC) "classy" cite, reword, or delete N Not true, deleted Akira CA (talk) 02:34, 15 October 2019 (UTC) "Huaihai Road (previously Avenue Joffre) in Huangpu District and Xujiahui (formerly Romanized as Zikawei or Siccawei, reflecting the Shanghainese pronunciation)" change the parentheses to notes (like what we did in the Etymology section)  Done Akira CA (talk) 02:34, 15 October 2019 (UTC) "formerly Romanized" lowercase r  Rephrased to "Shanghainese romanization" Akira CA (talk) 02:34, 15 October 2019 (UTC) "residential areas of" change "of" to "in"  Done Akira CA (talk) 04:13, 15 October 2019 (UTC) "Pudong New Area (Chuansha County until 1992, merged with Nanhui District in 2009 and with oversight of the Jiuduansha shoals)" change comma to semicolon, delete "and", change what's in the parentheses to a note, and add Chinese 浦东新区 in parentheses for consistency with the other terms  Done Akira CA (talk) 04:13, 15 October 2019 (UTC) "further" change to "farther"  Done Akira CA (talk) 04:13, 15 October 2019 (UTC) For this entire paragraph, change everything in parentheses into notes. (No need for Chinese terms because they're already in the table.)  Done Akira CA (talk) 04:13, 15 October 2019 (UTC) "The islands of Changxing and Hengsha and most (but not all) of Chongming Island form Chongming District." change to "Chongming District comprises the islands of Changxing and Hengsha and most—but not all—of Chongming Island." (Leave the citation before the em dash)  Done Akira CA (talk) 04:13, 15 October 2019 (UTC) "In 2011" add comma  Done Akira CA (talk) 04:13, 15 October 2019 (UTC) Combine last two paragraphs  Done Akira CA (talk) 04:13, 15 October 2019 (UTC) "109 towns, 2 townships, 99 subdistricts" add "and"  Done Akira CA (talk) 04:13, 15 October 2019 (UTC) "At the end of the year 2017, the total population is 24.18 million." delete this sentence entirely. Population is covered in the "Demographics" section  Done Akira CA (talk) 04:13, 15 October 2019 (UTC)

Economy  Done

Beginning section  Done First sentence: add serial comma. It also sounds very similar to the lead, so perhaps some of those citations can be moved down to this sentence/section? Here it is "center of China", but in the lead is "global center". Shall I change it to "global center" and move all the citations down? (current citation is on "center of China") Akira CA (talk) 00:42, 20 October 2019 (UTC) Yes, as long as it accurately reflects the citation. Bobbychan193 (talk) 01:36, 20 October 2019 (UTC) Wait, actually I can't put anything here after moving down the citation for "center for finance" to Finance subsection. Akira CA (talk) 06:15, 20 October 2019 (UTC) What do you mean? It seems that the citation was moved down already. Also, I have some issues with the citation that I wrote in the Citations section on the GA review page. Bobbychan193 (talk) 06:18, 20 October 2019 (UTC) I mean "the citation was moved down already" XD. Sorry for my poor English. So we need to make the lead completely clear of citations? Akira CA (talk) 06:27, 20 October 2019 (UTC) See WP:LEAD. What we should do is repeat all information in the lead, in the body. What’s optional is having citations or no citations in the lead. I personally prefer the latter, and since we’re almost there, let’s try to aim for that. Bobbychan193 (talk) 07:00, 20 October 2019 (UTC) Got it. Akira CA (talk) 10:41, 20 October 2019 (UTC) "with a GDP of ¥3.27 trillions (US$494 billions) that makes up 3.63% of China's GDP,[10][108] and a GDP per capita of ¥135,212 (US$20,425) in 2018." Split this sentence off from the first part. Rephrase to say "{{As of}} 2018, Shanghai had a GDP of [...]"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) "¥3.27 trillions (US$494 billions)" remove the "s" from both words  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) "GDP per capita" link. It will redirect to another article, but that's fine.  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) "The six pillar industries" change to "Shanghai's six largest industries" (unless that's inaccurate. Verify)  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) Missing serial comma again  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) Again, it seems similar to the lead, so maybe some of those citations can be moved down to this sentence. "consist" change to "comprise"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) "Average annual disposable income of Shanghai residents was ¥64,183 (US$9,695) per capita in 2018" change to "In 2018, the average [...]"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) "according to the study of Economist Intelligence Unit in 2017" change to "according to a 2017 study by the Economist Intelligence Unit"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) Table: "GDP per Capita" lowercase c  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) "In the last two decades" add comma  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) "fastest developing" add hyphen in between  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) Change : to ;  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) "double-digit growth" in what? GDP or population? Clarify, like "double-digit GDP growth"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) "and the global recession of 2008" change to "and 2008, before the financial crisis of 2007–2008"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) Finance  Done Add citation for image caption  Done Akira CA (talk) 00:42, 20 October 2019 (UTC) "Shanghai is a global financial center" seems to replicate the lead. Move the citation down? Also link "financial center"  Done; linked by The Account 1. Akira CA (talk) 00:42, 20 October 2019 (UTC) "5th" to "fifth"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) "Asia after" add comma in between  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) "worldwide stock exchanges" link to List of stock exchanges  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) "volume" change to "volumes"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) "commodities including rubber, copper and zinc on" change to "commodities—including rubber, copper, and zinc—on"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) "in the world" change to "globally"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) "In September 2013" start new paragraph before this  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) "In September 2013, with the backing of Chinese Premier Li Keqiang" move comma to the end here  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) "Zone-the" change to em dash (—)  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) "free-trade zone" link  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) "The Zone" lowercase  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) "create a preferential environment for" change to "incentivize"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) Italicize "The Banker" and "FDi magazine"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) "Chinese Province of the Future 2014/15" add quotes around this  Done The Account 1 (talk) 05:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC) Manufacturing, tourism, free-trade zone  Done "Shanghai is one of the main industrial centers of China, playing a key role in China's heavy industries" change to "As one of the main industrial centers of China, Shanghai plays a key role in domestic heavy industries"  Done Akira CA (talk) 06:23, 20 October 2019 (UTC) "A large number of" change to "Several"  Done Akira CA (talk) 06:23, 20 October 2019 (UTC) Em dashes before and after the list  Done Akira CA (talk) 06:23, 20 October 2019 (UTC) "China's largest steelmaker Baosteel Group, China's largest shipbuilding base – Hudong-Zhonghua Shipbuilding Group, and the Jiangnan Shipyard, one of China's oldest shipbuilders are all located in Shanghai" change to "Shanghai is home to China's largest steelmaker Baosteel Group, China's largest shipbuilding base Hudong-Zhonghua Shipbuilding Group, and one of China's oldest shipbuilders, the Jiangnan Shipyard" (add links where possible)  Done, do we need an em dash between "steelmaker" and "Baosteel Group"? Akira CA (talk) 06:23, 20 October 2019 (UTC) Nope. Bobbychan193 (talk) 07:06, 20 October 2019 (UTC) "Auto manufacture" change to "Auto manufacturing" (with direct link) The term is linked before in the beginning paragraph, shall I still link it? Akira CA (talk) 06:23, 20 October 2019 (UTC) If you mean it’s already linked in the lead, that’s fine. The same link can appear once in the lead and once in the body. See MOS:DL. Bobbychan193 (talk) 07:06, 20 October 2019 (UTC) I mean in the beginning section of Economy. "Shanghai's six largest industries—retail, finance, IT, real estate, machine manufacturing, and automotive manufacturing—comprise about half the city's GDP." Akira CA (talk) 10:44, 20 October 2019 (UTC) Oh, you’re right. Bobbychan193 (talk) 19:47, 20 October 2019 (UTC) "Tourism in general is a major industry of the city." change to "Tourism is a major industry of Shanghai."  Done Akira CA (talk) 11:12, 20 October 2019 (UTC) "visited Shanghai for an approximate increase of 7% from the previous year" change to "visited the city, a 7% increase from the previous year"  You've done it, thanks :) Akira CA (talk) 11:12, 20 October 2019 (UTC) "RMB950 (US$153)" all currency values throughout the article should be made consistent. I suggest using the {{CNY}} and {{US$}} templates (and use the link parameter for the first instance for each)  Done here Akira CA (talk) 11:12, 20 October 2019 (UTC)  Done throughout the article Akira CA (talk) 12:20, 20 October 2019 (UTC) Entire paragraph is uncited  Done Akira CA (talk) 11:45, 20 October 2019 (UTC) "As of September 2013" let's try to get this updated to more a recent time, and use {{as of}}.  Done Akira CA (talk) 11:45, 20 October 2019 (UTC) " — " remove spaces  Done Akira CA (talk) 11:12, 20 October 2019 (UTC) Serial comma  Done Akira CA (talk) 11:12, 20 October 2019 (UTC) "FTZ" change to "zone"  Done Akira CA (talk) 11:12, 20 October 2019 (UTC) "Zone" lowercase z  Done Akira CA (talk) 11:12, 20 October 2019 (UTC) "PRC" appears twice in this article, but is never spelled out. Can we replace both? "China's victory" and "Chinese territory"  Done here, but probably not "China's victory" because that's on Chinese Civil War. Akira CA (talk) 11:12, 20 October 2019 (UTC) "are not subject to duty and customs clearance as would otherwise be the case" change to "are exempt from duty and customs clearance"  Done Akira CA (talk) 11:12, 20 October 2019 (UTC) Image caption: "The Nanjing Pedestrian Street in the evening, with the he Radisson New World Hotel in the background" is there an extra "he" here?  Yes Akira CA (talk) 11:12, 20 October 2019 (UTC)

Demographics  Done

Beginning section  Done "As of 2018" convert to template  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:44, 22 October 2019 (UTC) "Shanghai has a total population of 24,237,800, 14,551,300 (59.7%) of whom are hukou holders" change to "Shanghai had a total population of 24,237,800, including 14,551,300 (59.7%) hukou holders"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:44, 22 October 2019 (UTC) "are urban and 10.7％ are rural" change to "live in urban areas, and 10.7% live in rural areas"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:44, 22 October 2019 (UTC) "Chinese Government" lowercase g  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:44, 22 October 2019 (UTC) "resulting in a 10,000 decline in population" change to "resulting in a population decline of 10,000 people"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:44, 22 October 2019 (UTC) This sentence also has "Since 2017" and "by the end of 2017" in the same sentence. Can we delete one or try to consolidate to avoid redundancy?  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:44, 22 October 2019 (UTC) "Among all residents in Shanghai about 157,900 are foreigners, including 28,900 Japanese, 21,900 Americans and 20,800 Koreans" missing two commas: one after Shanghai and one serial comma  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:44, 22 October 2019 (UTC) "real" change to "actual"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:44, 22 October 2019 (UTC) Actually this sentence should probably be restructured and split. We should add "According to ..." in the beginning. So the sentence would read something like "According to ..., about 157,900 residents in Shanghai are foreigners, including ... Koreans. However, the actual number ... higher."  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:44, 22 October 2019 (UTC) "Shanghai is also a domestic immigration city, with 40.3% (9.8 million) of the city's residents come from other regions of China" change to "Shanghai is also a domestic immigration city—40.3% (9.8 million) of the city's residents are from other regions of China"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:44, 22 October 2019 (UTC) "life expectancy of 83.63" link life expectancy, add "years" after  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:44, 22 October 2019 (UTC) "huji population" what is this? Define, link, or replace both instances with something else  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:44, 22 October 2019 (UTC) "putting it the top in mainland China in terms of life expectancy" change to "the highest life expectancy of all cities in mainland China" tweak the current link to be around the words "all cities in mainland China"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:44, 22 October 2019 (UTC) "However the longevity" change to "However, this"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:44, 22 October 2019 (UTC) "age severely" change to "experience population aging", link "aging" to Aging of China  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:44, 22 October 2019 (UTC) "The encompassing metropolitan area was estimated by the OECD (Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development) to have, as of 2010, a population of 34 million." change to "In 2010, the OECD estimated Shanghai's metropolitan area to have a population of 34 million."  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:44, 22 October 2019 (UTC) Are both sources necessary here? If so, swap the position of the lower number citation with the higher number citation.  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:44, 22 October 2019 (UTC) Religion  Done Comments for entire section: Add more citations, especially for any subjective claims  Done Akira CA (talk) 00:52, 24 October 2019 (UTC) Add/fix links for Buddhists, Protestants, Catholics, Jews, etc. and delete duplicate links that they appear later on, like Buddhism; try to add links for the temples that aren't currently linked (if there's no English article, check for a Chinese article)  Done Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC) Try to find at least one image of a church or temple and add it here  Done Akira CA (talk) 08:09, 23 October 2019 (UTC) Add {{See also}} for Religion in China  Done Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "cosmopolitan" not sure if this is the best word to use here. Perhaps "diverse"? Probably not "diverse history"; sounds weird. Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "Shanghai has a blend of religious heritage as shown by the religious buildings and institutions still scattered around the city" change to "Shanghai has a blend of religious heritage; religious buildings and institutions are scattered around the city"  Done Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "According to a 2012 survey" add comma and move the citation to the end of the sentence  You've done it. :) Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "of the population of Shanghai" change to "of the city's population"  Done Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "There are folk religious temples" change to "Shanghai has several folk religious temples"  Done Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "Wenmiao" change to "Confucian Temple of Shanghai" (and link)  Done Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC) Delete "Temple of the God of Culture", and possibly "dedicated to Confucius" (seems redundant). Combine with previous sentence to say: "Shanghai is home to the Confucian Temple of Shanghai and the White Cloud Temple of Shanghai, a major Taoist center."  All combined into one sentence. Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "since ancient times" be more specific, add citation  Done Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "The Longhua Temple, the largest temple in Shanghai, and the Jing'an Temple, were first founded in the Three Kingdoms period" change to "The Longhua Temple—the largest temple in Shanghai—and the Jing'an Temple were founded in the Three Kingdoms period"  Done Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "Islam came into Shanghai 700 years ago and a mosque was built in 1295 in Songjiang" change to "Islam entered Shanghai over 700 years ago when a mosque was built in 1295 in Songjiang"  Done Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC) What is a "teachers' college"? Explain or link N Deleted, cannot find any source Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "set up" change to "established"  These sentences are rephrased Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "Shanghai has one of the largest proportions of Catholics in China (2003)" this needs updating N Deleted, I introduced the paragraph with the history of Catholicism in Shanghai instead. Akira CA (talk) 23:37, 27 October 2019 (UTC) Combine this paragraph with the next  Done Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "During World War II" add comma and link  Done Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "flee Hitler's regime" change to "flee Nazi Germany"  Done Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "The Jews lived side-by-side" with whom? If it's just themselves, delete "side-by-side"  Done Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "called" change to "called the"  Done Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "vibrant" is this in the source? If not, delete The archiving website is block here in Australia , could you please check it for me? Akira CA (talk) 08:09, 23 October 2019 (UTC) Okay. Bobbychan193 (talk) 19:40, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "the Ohel Moishe Synagogue, which is a preserved remnant of this portion of Shanghai's complex religious past" delete link and change to "the Ohel Moishe Synagogue, which is now the Shanghai Jewish Refugees Museum" ("which is a preserved remnant of this portion of Shanghai's complex religious past" seems a little subjective, and "Shanghai-jews.com" might not be the best citation here, so I think we should delete this part)  Done Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC)  Agreed N Deleted Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC) Let's reorder this section's paragraphs in this order: Buddhism, Christianity, Islam, and folk religions  Done Akira CA (talk) 07:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC) Language  Done Add citations  Done Akira CA (talk) 04:44, 25 October 2019 (UTC) "official language nationwide, which is Mandarin" change to "official Chinese language, Mandarin"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:29, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "itself completely mutually unintelligible with Wu Chinese" what does this mean? Clarify. Replace "itself" with "which is"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:29, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "Most Shanghai residents" change to "Most of the city's residents"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:29, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "The population of those regions speak different Wu Chinese dialects" change to "Those regions have different Wu Chinese dialects"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:29, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "From the 1990s" change to "Since the 1990s"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:29, 23 October 2019 (UTC) Serial comma  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:29, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "the city of Shanghai" redundant  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:29, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "(本地話)" seems to have a different font from the rest of the Chinese terms used in the article. Try to maintain consistency throughout the article  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:29, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "after 1949 and before the 1990s" change to "between 1949 and the 1990s"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:29, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "On the other hand, however, Shanghainese started to decline and fluency amongst young speakers weakened" change to "At the same time, Shanghainese began to decline, and fluency among young speakers weakened"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:29, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "are being favoured and taught over the native language" change to "have been favored over Shanghainese"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:29, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "In recent years though, there have been movements within the city to protect and promote the local language from ever fading out" change to "However, in recent years, there have been movements within the city to protect and promote the local language from fading out"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 15:29, 23 October 2019 (UTC)

Education  Done

Delete "with over 30 universities and colleges" (because literally the next sentence contradicts this)  Done The Account 1 (talk) 18:34, 23 October 2019 (UTC) Serial comma  Done The Account 1 (talk) 18:34, 23 October 2019 (UTC) Missing "and" in the list  Done The Account 1 (talk) 18:34, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "(these universities are selected as "985 universities" by the Chinese Government in order to build world-class universities)" delete parentheses, change "are" to "were", lowercase g, and split into a separate sentence  Done The Account 1 (talk) 18:34, 23 October 2019 (UTC) Split paragraph here  Done The Account 1 (talk) 18:34, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "In 2012" add comma  Done The Account 1 (talk) 18:34, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "Sino-US" change to "China–U.S."  Done The Account 1 (talk) 18:34, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "In 2013" add comma  Done The Account 1 (talk) 18:34, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "This new research university is aiming to be a first-class institution on a national and international level" this seems a little out of place. Shorten or delete  Done The Account 1 (talk) 18:34, 23 October 2019 (UTC) Add a sentence about the UM–SJTU Joint Institute somewhere in this paragraph What should I add about it? The Account 1 (talk) 18:34, 23 October 2019 (UTC) Since this section seems to be talking about joint institutes, add either a sentence or a phrase about the UM–SJTU Joint Institute. Something like "Shanghai Jiao Tong University has also established a joint institute with the University of Michigan." and add a source, preferably an article from a reliable source. Bobbychan193 (talk) 19:39, 23 October 2019 (UTC) "The cadre school China Executive Leadership Academy in Pudong is also located in Shanghai, as well as the China Europe International Business School" change to "Shanghai is also home to the cadre school China Executive Leadership Academy in Pudong and the China Europe International Business School"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 18:34, 23 October 2019 (UTC) This section only talks about universities. Add content for primary and secondary schools.  Done! Akira CA (talk) 02:26, 26 October 2019 (UTC)

Transportation  Done

Public transportation  Done "based on" change to "comprising"  Done - Josephua (talk) 04:14, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "Payment for all these public transportation tools can be made by using the Shanghai Public Transportation Card" combine with previous sentence and change to "... taxis, all of which can be accessed using a Shanghai Public Transportation Card"  Done - Josephua (talk) 04:16, 1 November 2019 (UTC) Try to update year/citation/statistics  Done Akira CA (talk) 04:30, 21 November 2019 (UTC) Serial comma  Done Akira CA (talk) 07:34, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "it set a record of daily ridership of 13.3 million" first change the wording to be less awkward, like "it set a daily ridership record of 13.3 million"; clarify: what kind of record? Worldwide record, China record, Shanghai record, or internal record?  Done, Shanghai record. Akira CA (talk) 07:34, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "The fare depends on the length of travel distance starting from CN¥3 (US$0.48)" change to "The fare starts from CN¥3 (US$0.48) and depends on the travel distance"; add citation  Done - Josephua (talk) 04:14, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "Shanghai maglev train" add "the" before, and capitalize  Done - Josephua (talk) 04:14, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "high-speed maglev" link maglev  Done - Josephua (talk) 04:14, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "daily" unneeded; delete  Done - Josephua (talk) 04:14, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "The train connects the 30 km journey between Longyang Road Station and Pudong International Airport in 7 minutes 20 seconds, comparing to 32 minutes by Metro Line 2 and 30 minutes by car" change to "The train can complete the 30-kilometer (19 mi) journey between Longyang Road Station and Pudong International Airport in 7 minutes 20 seconds, compared to 32 minutes by Metro Line 2 and 30 minutes by car" (note the template)  Done - Josephua (talk) 04:34, 1 November 2019 (UTC) Delete "return"  Done - Josephua (talk) 04:27, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "(US$12.80)" add comma after  Done - Josephua (talk) 04:27, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "Shanghai reintroduced trams in 2010" needs context before this. When was it discontinued and why? When were they first introduced?  Done Akira CA (talk) 00:06, 7 November 2019 (UTC) "this time as a modern rubber tyred Translohr system" change to "as a modern rubber-tire Translohr system" (link Translohr)  Done Akira CA (talk) 07:34, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "Another regular tram network" doesn't seem necessary; delete  Done Akira CA (talk) 07:34, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "under study" what does this mean? Being researched? Under planning? Under construction? Also needs a timeframe  Done Akira CA (talk) 00:39, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "world's oldest continuously operating trolleybus system" we don't need to make this whole thing a link; shift to "trolleybus system"  Done - Josephua (talk) 04:27, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "by 2017" try to update; also use {{As of}} template for this and later instances  Done Akira CA (talk) 00:06, 7 November 2019 (UTC) "a combination of companies" change to "multiple companies"  Done - Josephua (talk) 04:27, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "Bus fare normally costs" change to "Bus fares generally cost"  Done - Josephua (talk) 04:27, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "Taxis are plentiful in Shanghai" kind of subjective (and pointless); delete  Done - Josephua (talk) 04:34, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "By 2017, a total number of 46,400 vehicles were in operation" try to update, and change to "As of ..., a total of 46,400 taxis were in operation in Shanghai"  Done - Josephua (talk) 04:27, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "Taxis base fare" change to "The base fare for taxis is"  Done - Josephua (talk) 04:34, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "(US$2.24) (including a CN¥1 fuel surcharge; CN¥18 between 11:00 pm and 5:00 am) which covers the first 3 km (2 mi)" change to "(US$2.24), which covers the first 3 km (2 mi) and includes a CN¥1 fuel surcharge. The base fare is CN¥18 between 11:00 pm and 5:00 am." (also add US$ conversions in parentheses)  Done - Josephua (talk) 04:43, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "Additional km cost CN¥2.5 (US$0.40) each (CN¥3.3 between 11:00 pm and 5:00 am)" change to "Each additional kilometer costs CN¥2.5 (US$0.40), or CN¥3.3 between 11:00 pm and 5:00 am" (also add US$ conversion in parentheses)  Done - Josephua (talk) 04:43, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "Ride share giants like DiDi and Uber are playing major roles in urban tranportation besides the traditional taxi system" change to "In addition to traditional taxis, ridesharing companies including DiDi and Uber play major roles in urban transportation"; directly link "ridesharing companies"  Done - Josephua (talk) 04:20, 1 November 2019 (UTC) Expand a bit and try to find statistics (i.e. how many people use ridesharing apps annually?)  Done Akira CA (talk) 00:39, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "Cost of shared rides are comparable to that of taxis and sometimes even lower due to subsidies from the companies" change to "Ridesharing costs are comparable to those of taxis, and are sometimes even lower due to subsidies from the companies"  Done - Josephua (talk) 04:20, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "due to subsidies from the companies" elaborate Not sure if "vouchers" is better. Akira CA (talk) 04:37, 21 November 2019 (UTC) Changed to "promotional discounts". Bobbychan193 (talk) 06:27, 21 November 2019 (UTC) There are too many images here. Delete the image of the yellow tram and move the bus one to the right  Done - Josephua (talk) 04:20, 1 November 2019 (UTC) Roads and expressways  Done "(prefixed with G) pass through or terminate in Shanghai" change to "(prefixed with the letter G) pass through or end in Shanghai"  Done Akira CA (talk) 06:41, 1 November 2019 (UTC) Delete all the symbols/images of the highways. Unnecessary  Done Akira CA (talk) 06:41, 1 November 2019 (UTC) Two instances of "overlapping": change to "overlaps with"  Done Akira CA (talk) 06:41, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "In addition, ... also" redundant  Should I leave "also"? Akira CA (talk) 06:41, 1 November 2019 (UTC) Yeah, leaving one is fine. Bobbychan193 (talk) 02:42, 2 November 2019 (UTC) "prefixed with S (S1, S2, S20, etc.)." change to "prefixed with the letter S"; delete everything in the parentheses  Done Akira CA (talk) 06:41, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "has a total" add "of"  Done Akira CA (talk) 06:41, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "across" change to "crossing"  Done Akira CA (talk) 06:41, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "Shanghai Yangtze River Bridge" change to "The Shanghai Yangtze River Bridge" (with direct link)  Done Akira CA (talk) 06:41, 1 November 2019 (UTC) "to the north of the city" unnecessary; delete  Done Akira CA (talk) 06:41, 1 November 2019 (UTC) Delete symbols; add serial commas  Done Akira CA (talk) 06:41, 1 November 2019 (UTC) I have some free time, so I'll continue the review below. Bobbychan193 (talk) 04:10, 13 November 2019 (UTC) "The Shanghai Yangtze River Bridge is the only bridge–tunnel complex across Yangtze River in Shanghai" change to "The Shanghai Yangtze River Bridge is the city's only bridge–tunnel complex across the Yangtze River"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:02, 17 November 2019 (UTC) Serial comma  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:02, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "Inner Ring Road, which is followed by ..." what does this mean? Clarify  Done Akira CA (talk) 04:54, 21 November 2019 (UTC) "commonplace" change to "common"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:02, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "In recent years" add comma  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:02, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "thanks to" change to "due to"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:02, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "such as" add comma before  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:02, 17 November 2019 (UTC) Image caption: "Bicycle-sharing systems, such as ofo and Mobike (both pictured), are common in Shanghai." perhaps we could change this to "Bicycle-sharing systems, such as ofo (yellow) and Mobike (orange), are common in Shanghai." What do you think?  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:02, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "buys a license in the monthly private car license plate auction" change to "buys a license plate in a private car license plate auction, which are held monthly"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:02, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "each month" add comma after  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:02, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "the municipal regulation" is this saying "city regulations"? If so, just change it to that  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:02, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "Shanghai registered" add hyphen in between  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:02, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "individual incomer tax" is this supposed to say "individual income taxes"?  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:02, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "for over 3 years in a row" is it 3 years or more than 3 years? If the latter, change to "for at least three years in a row". Either way, spell out "3" as "three" per MOS:NUMERAL  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:02, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "to alleviate congestion" delete "to"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:02, 17 November 2019 (UTC) The last paragraph needs more citations. There is only one citation and it doesn't really back up any of the claims in the paragraph. Bobbychan193 (talk) 23:27, 17 November 2019 (UTC)  Done Akira CA (talk) 23:35, 26 November 2019 (UTC) "According to city regulations in 2016, only those who are Shanghai-registered residents or have paid social insurance or individual income taxes for over three years in a row" This is a sentence fragment. "Only those who are ..." what? "Only those ..." are eligible? Bobbychan193 (talk) 23:27, 17 November 2019 (UTC)  Done Akira CA (talk) 23:35, 26 November 2019 (UTC) @Akira CA: "... can be in the row" what does this mean? Clarify/rephrase. Bobbychan193 (talk) 07:13, 27 November 2019 (UTC) @Bobbychan193:  Done Akira CA (talk) 00:56, 28 November 2019 (UTC) Railway  Done Change subsection heading to "Railways"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:11, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "The earliest railway in Shanghai was the Woosung railway built in 1876, which was also the earliest railway in operation in China" change to "Built in 1876, the Woosung railway was the first railway in Shanghai and the first railway in operation in China"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:11, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "had been" change to "were"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:11, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "Today, the two railways has been integrated into Beijing–Shanghai railway and Shanghai–Kunming railway, respectively, forming two main railways in China" change to "[As of xyz (use template)], the two railways have been integrated into two main Chinese railways: Beijing–Shanghai railway and Shanghai–Kunming railway, respectively" (also, "main Chinese railways" might be problematic; reword if possible)  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:11, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "high-speed railways" add "(HSRs)" after  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:11, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "overlapping" change to "overlaps with"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:11, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "with two high-speed rail lines" split this sentence from the previous. Say: "Two high-speed railways are under construction: ..."  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:11, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "China Railway" add comma after  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:11, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "Line 16" redo piped link (avoid piped redirect)  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:11, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "Three more lines: Chongming line, Jiamin line and Shanghai Airport Link [zh] are in construction" change to "Three additional lines—Chongming line, Jiamin line, and Shanghai Airport Link [zh]—are under construction"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:11, 17 November 2019 (UTC) For all railways that are under construction, double check to see if they are indeed still under construction, and make changes if necessary. Then, insert {{as of}} templates. I.e. "Three additional lines—Chongming line, Jiamin line, and Shanghai Airport Link [zh]—are under construction as of November 2019"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:11, 17 November 2019 (UTC) Air and sea  Done The two sections are both a bit short, so combine the two subheadings to say "Air and sea". You can keep or delete the "See also" template  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:25, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "Shanghai is one of the leading air transportation gateways in Asia" sounds a little awkward; try to rephrase. Maybe "Shanghai is one of the largest air transportation hubs in Asia" also add a citation  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:25, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "main international airport" change "main" to "primary"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:25, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "Hongqiao Airport" change to "Hongqiao International Airport"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:25, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "In 2018" add comma  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:25, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "ninth busiest airports by passengers and third busiest by cargoes" change to "ninth-busiest airport by passenger volume and third-busiest airport by cargo volume"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:25, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "Hongqiao Airport served 43.6 million passengers, making it the nineteenth busiest airports by passengers" change to "The same year, Hongqiao International Airport served 43.6 million passengers, making it the 19th-busiest airport by passenger volume"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:25, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "The Port of Shanghai has grown rapidly to the largest port in China since it opened" change to "Since its opening, the Port of Shanghai has rapidly grown to become the largest port in China"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:25, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "Wharves are clusttered along the Huangpu River at first" what does this mean? Also fix typo ("clustered")  Done deleted sentence The Account 1 (talk) 11:25, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "Yangshan Port is built in 2005 because the river is not suitable for docking large container ships" change to "was built" and "was unsuitable"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:25, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "with the continent" what? Rephrase  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:25, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "32km-long" use {{convert}} to produce "32-kilometer (xyz-mile) long" (beware of hyphen and American spelling)  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:25, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "Although the port is run by Shanghai International Port Group under Shanghai government, it administratively belongs to Shengsi County, Zhejiang" change to "Although the port is run by the Shanghai International Port Group under the government of Shanghai, it administratively belongs to Shengsi County, Zhejiang"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:25, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "Singapore" spell out "Port of Singapore" (and make sure it doesn't pipe link to itself)  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:25, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "42,010,000" change to "42 million"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:25, 17 November 2019 (UTC) "Besides cargoes, the Port of Shanghai handled 406 cruises and 2.75 millions of passengers in 2018" change to "Besides cargo, the Port of Shanghai handled 406 cruises and 2.75 million passengers in 2018"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:25, 17 November 2019 (UTC) Image caption: unlink "container"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 11:25, 17 November 2019 (UTC)

Culture  Done

So before I begin reviewing this section, try to trim it down a bit. It's currently around 2300–2400 words, which is almost 25% of the entire article (around 9600 words). My suggestion: try to get it under 2000 words, or ideally under 1800 words, and we'll go from there. If you want to preserve some of the less important details and/or interesting facts, you can move them to other articles that might be more relevant or more focused on them. I noticed that there's no article for Culture in Shanghai; perhaps you can make one. Also, Haipai seems to be closely related to this as well, so maybe use that as a base for moving stuff. I know next to nothing about Haipai, so this is your call to make.  Done So, this section is around 1400 words now. (Well done!) I'm concerned about its readability given its length. Perhaps a few (like 3 or 4) subheadings would help. Reorder paragraphs if necessary.  Done -- Akira😼CA 23:35, 5 August 2020 (UTC) "The culture of Shanghai was a combination" Something about the past tense makes this read awkwardly. Change to something like "The culture of Shanghai was formed by a combination" or "The culture of Shanghai is considered to be a combination"  Done -- Akira😼CA 23:35, 5 August 2020 (UTC) "Examples of the Wuyue culture's influence includes Shanghainese language developed from the nearby Jiaxing, Suzhou, and Ningbo dialect, and Shanghai cuisine influenced by the Jiangsu cuisine and Zhejiang cuisine." Too lengthy. Trim to: "Wuyue culture's influence is manifested in Shanghainese—which comprises elements of dialects from nearby Jiaxing, Suzhou, and Ningbo—and Shanghai cuisine, which was influenced by Jiangsu cuisine and Zhejiang cuisine."  Done -- Akira😼CA 23:35, 5 August 2020 (UTC) "western cultures" change to "Western culture"  Done -- Akira😼CA 23:35, 5 August 2020 (UTC) "and even food and beverages" change to "and cuisine"  Done -- Akira😼CA 23:35, 5 August 2020 (UTC) "western" capitalize  Done -- Akira😼CA 23:35, 5 August 2020 (UTC) "In recent years" vague and problematic wording. Change to something like "in the early 21st century"  Done -- Akira😼CA 23:35, 5 August 2020 (UTC) "most recently released city development plans" same thing as above. Specify the time to reduce ambiguity  Done -- Akira😼CA 23:35, 5 August 2020 (UTC) "with aims in making" change to "which aim to make"  Done -- Akira😼CA 23:35, 5 August 2020 (UTC) Try to change/cut down on puffery words in this paragraph: "importance", "best", "major", etc.  Done -- Akira😼CA 23:35, 5 August 2020 (UTC) "Power Station of Art" add "The" before  Done -- Akira😼CA 23:35, 5 August 2020 (UTC) "there is a variety of smaller" change to "there are numerous smaller"  Done -- Akira😼CA 23:35, 5 August 2020 (UTC) "There are also many art galleries, concentrated in the M50 Art District and Tianzifang" change to "The city has many art galleries, many of which are located in the M50 Art District and Tianzifang"  Done -- Akira😼CA 23:35, 5 August 2020 (UTC) This paragraph needs more citations, especially for the latter half.  Done -- Akira😼CA 03:32, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "MoCA, Museum of Contemporary Art of Shanghai, is a private museum centrally located in People's Park on West Nanjing Road, and is committed to promote contemporary art and design." I would probably delete this sentence. MoCA does not have its own article, which leads me to believe that it does not meet Wikipedia's notability criteria. As such, it is probably not notable enough to include in this article. (Feel free to create an article if I am mistaken.) Museum of Contemporary Art Shanghai -- Akira😼CA 23:35, 5 August 2020 (UTC) Oh, I missed that. Feel free to add it back in. Use the full name and delete the abbreviation. Bobbychan193 (talk) 08:36, 7 August 2020 (UTC) "cooking style originated 400 years ago under profound influence of those of the surrounding provinces" change to "cooking style that originated in the 1600s, with influences from surrounding provinces"  Done -- Akira😼CA 23:35, 5 August 2020 (UTC) Change to American spelling: "emphasises" and "flavours"  Done -- Akira😼CA 23:35, 5 August 2020 (UTC) "and meanwhile" change to "while"  Done -- Akira😼CA 23:35, 5 August 2020 (UTC) "raw ingredients materials" delete "materials"  Done -- Akira😼CA 23:35, 5 August 2020 (UTC) "Another characteristic is the use of a great variety of seafood and freshwater food" change to something less redundant and more informative, such as: "Benbang cuisine often uses a variety of seafood, including freshwater fish, crabs, and lobsters" (and try to find a source for this)  Done, both cuisine use these so I moved the sentence to the end of the paragraph. -- Akira😼CA 23:49, 5 August 2020 (UTC) "Haipai cuisine, on the other hand, is a Western-style cooking originated in Shanghai but absorbs elements from French, British, Russian, German, and Italian cuisine and adapts them to suit the local taste according to the features of local ingredients" too long. Split into two sentences: "Haipai cuisine, on the other hand, is a Western-influenced cooking style that originated in Shanghai. It absorbed elements from French, British, Russian, German, and Italian cuisines and adapted them to suit the local taste according to the features of local ingredients"  Done -- Akira😼CA 23:35, 5 August 2020 (UTC) "during the Ming and the Qing Dynasty" change to "during the Ming and Qing Dynasties"  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "The school was considered as a further development" awkward wording. Change to something like: "The school was considered an expansion"  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "the painting" delete "the"  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "western" capitalize  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) At least two missing serial commas  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "settled in Shanghai thus it gradually became the art center of China" change to "settled in Shanghai, allowing it to gradually become the art center of China"  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "photography" change to "including photography"  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "Sanmao, one of the most well-known comics in China, was created then to dramatize the chaos brought to society by the Second Sino-Japanese War" this sentence is a bit confusing, as well as wordy. Was the comic well known at the time? Is it well known in the present day as a historical thing? Or have a lot of people today actually read it? Or a combination? Either clarify, or delete it entirely, i.e.: "Sanmao was created to dramatize the chaos created by the Second Sino-Japanese War"  Done deleted -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "Chinese painting academy" is this a proper noun? Capitalize if so.  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "the Guohua" change to "traditional Chinese painting"  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "plays an important role in the contemporary art" again with the puffery. Change to something like: "displays contemporary art"  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "has now become" delete "now"  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "Traditional Xiqu" change to "Traditional Chinese opera (Xiqu)"  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "the main way of entertainment" weird phrasing. Change to something like "a popular source of entertainment"  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "appeared in Shanghai" delete "in Shanghai"  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "The Great World opened in 1912 is a significant stage at the time" change to "The Great World opened in 1912 and was a significant stage at the time"  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "In 1920s" add "the"  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "With the abundant commercial radio stations, Pingtan art developed rapidly to 103 programs every day by the 1930s" confusing sentence; clarify  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "At the same time, Shanghai also formed a Shanghai-style Beijing Opera led by Zhou Xinfang and Gai Jiaotian [zh], and attracted many Xiqu masters like Mei Lanfang to the city" change to "Around the same time, a Shanghai-style Beijing Opera was formed. Led by Zhou Xinfang and Gai Jiaotian [zh], it attracted many Xiqu masters, like Mei Lanfang, to the city"  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "At the same time, a small troupe" delete "At the same time"  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "is formed when the local folksongs collided with modern operas" change to "was formed when local folksongs were fused with modern operas"  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "the well-known" change to "prominent"  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) Missing serial comma  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "Back then" change to "At the time"  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "earliest recorded" hyphenate  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "had become" change to "became"  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "Shanghai Conservatory of Music, Shanghai Dramatic Arts Centre, Shanghai Opera House and Shanghai Theatre Academy are four major institutes of theater training in Shanghai" change to "The city has several major institutes of theater training, including the Shanghai Conservatory of Music, the Shanghai Dramatic Arts Centre, the Shanghai Opera House, and the Shanghai Theatre Academy"  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) Another missing serial comma  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "went on to blossom" change to "grew"  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "great" delete  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "native Shanghainese" change to "Shanghai native"  Done -- Akira😼CA 01:31, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "The April session is a part of the Shanghai International Fashion Culture Festival, which usually lasts for a month, while Shanghai Fashion Week lasts for seven days, and the main venue is in Fuxing Park, Shanghai, while the opening and closing ceremony is in Shanghai Fashion Center" too long. Split into two or three sentences  Done -- Akira😼CA 02:45, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "Supported by the People's Republic Ministry of Commerce, Shanghai Fashion Week is a major business and culture event of national significance hosted by the Shanghai Municipal Government" wordy; try to trim  Done -- Akira😼CA 02:45, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "culture event" change to "cultural event"  Done -- Akira😼CA 02:45, 6 August 2020 (UTC) "Shanghai Fashion Week is aiming to build up an international and professional platform, gathering all of the top design talents of Asia. The event features international designers but the primary purpose is to showcase Chinese designers" reads a little bit like an advertisement. Also try to trim (undue weight concerns, etc.)  Done -- Akira😼CA 02:45, 6 August 2020 (UTC)

Environment  Done

Parks and resorts  Done First sentence: reword to make it seem more neutral and less like original research  Done The Account 1 (talk) 16:55, 22 January 2020 (UTC) "By 2017, the city had 248 parks with a total area of 19,805 hectares" use {{convert}} (recommend using km2 and acres); try to update stats  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:52, 1 February 2020 (UTC) "offering a green public space to locals" sounds weird; try to reword  Done The Account 1 (talk) 16:55, 22 January 2020 (UTC) "became" change to "have become"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 16:55, 22 January 2020 (UTC) Serial comma  Done The Account 1 (talk) 16:55, 22 January 2020 (UTC) The second paragraph needs more citations, especially for claims such as "tallest statue"  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:52, 1 February 2020 (UTC) "The former racetrack turned central park" don't think this level of detail is necessary; delete  Done The Account 1 (talk) 16:55, 22 January 2020 (UTC) "high end" hyphenate  Done The Account 1 (talk) 16:55, 22 January 2020 (UTC) "Built in 1914 as Jessfield Park" is this referring to Zhongshan Park? If so, split the long paragraph after "metro system"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 16:55, 22 January 2020 (UTC) "important transfer station" what does "important" mean? It sounds subjective, so I would either find a source and clarify, or just delete it  Done The Account 1 (talk) 16:55, 22 January 2020 (UTC) "newest" change to "newer"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 16:55, 22 January 2020 (UTC) "is in the Xujiahui—Xujiahui Park [zh]—built in 1999" really confusing to read; change to "is the Xujiahui Park [zh], which was built in 1999"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 16:55, 22 January 2020 (UTC) "offering a pleasant respite for Xujiahui shoppers" source or delete N Deleted "another yet the biggest botanical garden" just change to "the largest botanical garden"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 16:55, 22 January 2020 (UTC) "well-known" change to "notable"  Done The Account 1 (talk) 16:55, 22 January 2020 (UTC) Last paragraph: try to find and add some visitor statistics, i.e. "An average of XYZ people visited per month in 2019" or something (if you've ever been there, you know there's a crapton of people who visit)  Done Some additional follow-up comments: "There is an extensive public park system in Shanghai which offers green space for locals. By 2018, the city had 300 parks and 281 among them were free to visit." shorten this to "Shanghai has an extensive public park system; by 2018, the city had 300 parks, of which 281 had free admission." (also update stat if possible)  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:00, 4 February 2020 (UTC) "The per capita park area has reached 8.2 m2 (88 sq ft) square meters" first of all, "m2" and "square meters" are redundant. Also, it's unclear when this statistic was released and what the per-capita unit is (i.e. per person? Per 1000 people?). Change to something like "In 2019, Shanghai's per-capita park area was 8.2 m2 (88 sq ft) per person"  Done for the first part. The statistics was in 2018. "per person" seems to be implied in "per capita" so it might be redundant to include. Akira CA (talk) 01:00, 4 February 2020 (UTC) "today, it is known for its 150-year-old platanus, extensive sakura and peony gardens, and as an interchange hub in the metro system" this sentence reads a bit awkwardly. Change to something like "the park features sakura and peony gardens and a 150-year-old platanus, and it also serves as an interchange hub in the metro system"  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:00, 4 February 2020 (UTC) "One of the newer parks" change to "One of Shanghai's newer parks"  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:00, 4 February 2020 (UTC) "2009," delete comma  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:00, 4 February 2020 (UTC) "in the first year of its operation" change to "in its first year of operation"  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:00, 4 February 2020 (UTC) Environmental protection / Air pollution  Done "city-center" I don't think a hyphen here is needed. Correct me if I am wrong.  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:11, 4 February 2020 (UTC) "has been removed" change to "were removed"  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:11, 4 February 2020 (UTC) "From 1 July 2019, Shanghai adopt a new garbage classification which sorts out waste into residual waste, kitchen waste, recyclable waste, and hazardous waste" change to "On 1 July 2019, Shanghai adopted a new garbage-classification system that sorts out waste into residual waste, kitchen waste, recyclable waste, and hazardous waste"  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:11, 4 February 2020 (UTC) "The wastes will then be collected by different vehicles" change to "The wastes are collected by separate vehicles"  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:11, 4 February 2020 (UTC) "hazardous waste disposal facilities separately" change to "hazardous-waste-disposal facilities, respectively"  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:11, 4 February 2020 (UTC) For this section, add {{Main}} or {{See also}} template and link to the Pollution in China article  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:11, 4 February 2020 (UTC) "Chinese cities" not sure why this is linked. Delete link  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:11, 4 February 2020 (UTC) "but still substantial by world standards" change to "but is still considered substantial by world standards"  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:11, 4 February 2020 (UTC) "a mass of construction work" change to "much construction work"  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:11, 4 February 2020 (UTC) "Most of inbound flights" change to "Most inbound flights"  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:11, 4 February 2020 (UTC) "more than 50 flights were diverted at Pudong International Airport" I assume this means that the flights were at or heading to Pudong but diverted? If so, change to "more than 50 flights at Pudong International Airport were diverted"  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:20, 4 February 2020 (UTC) "Yang Xiong, the mayor of Shanghai municipality announced" change to "Yang Xiong, the mayor of Shanghai, announced"  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:20, 4 February 2020 (UTC) Missing serial comma  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:20, 4 February 2020 (UTC) "The measures involved delivery of the 2013 air cleaning program, linkage mechanism with the three surrounding provinces and improvement of the ability of early warning of emergency situation" awkward wording; change to "The measures involved implementing the 2013 air-cleaning program, establishing a linkage mechanism with the three surrounding provinces, and improving the city's early-warning systems"  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:20, 4 February 2020 (UTC) "to help companies to meet new" change to "to help companies meet the new"  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:20, 4 February 2020 (UTC) "The effect of the policy is significant" change "is" to "was"  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:20, 4 February 2020 (UTC) "has decreased" delete "has"  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:20, 4 February 2020 (UTC)

Media / International relations  Done

This quote is interesting, but I'm confused why it's the first and only sentence in the entire section. There should at least be one or two sentences talking broadly about media in Shanghai that go before this.  Done Akira CA (talk) 09:28, 8 March 2020 (UTC) "Newspapers publishing in Shanghai" add an {{as of}} template before this. A simple year or year + month would be fine.  Done Akira CA (talk) 12:57, 6 March 2020 (UTC) There's one redlink and several no-link entries. First try to find if any of them have corresponding articles on the Chinese Wikipedia, and link them using the template. Then, for consistency, just make everything else either redlinked or not linked.  Done Akira CA (talk) 13:35, 6 March 2020 (UTC) "Broadcasters:" since there's only one item in this list, just change it to "The city's main broadcaster is Shanghai Media Group."  Done Akira CA (talk) 12:57, 6 March 2020 (UTC) For this section, feel free to expand the first paragraph a little bit. There has to be more to Shanghai's international relations than the SCO and a list of twin cities.  Done, expand with New Development Bank. -- Akira😼CA 12:02, 8 April 2020 (UTC) "Shanghai is twinned with:" change to "Shanghai is twinned with the following cities:"  Done - 祝好，Josephua(聊天) 00:38, 6 March 2020 (UTC) I'm going to assume every entry has a corresponding citation, but feel free to double-check if you have free time.  Done, updated Akira CA (talk) 09:59, 8 March 2020 (UTC) Is there a reason why all the city names are bolded? If not, I would remove all bold font in this section. (See MOS:BOLD)  Done - 祝好，Josephua(聊天) 00:34, 6 March 2020 (UTC)

Citations

• Copyright violation status: seems mostly OK.
• A lot of the citations need updating.
• Some citations are dead, which is fine if they have archived versions, but ideally, they should be replaced with live citations.
• {{cite web |url = http://www.zyen.com/PDF/LCGFC.pdf |title = The Competitive Position of London as a Global Financial Centre |access-date = 25 February 2011 |archive-url = https://web.archive.org/web/20131110224826/http://www.zyen.com/PDF/LCGFC.pdf |archive-date = 10 November 2013 |url-status=dead |df = dmy-all}} This source is dead, kind of old, and most importantly, does not reflect the statement it was citing. It says Shanghai is "likely" to become a global financial center.
  • Aha, you changed it before I found the same source as yours. Akira CA (talk) 11:57, 20 October 2019 (UTC)
• Any citations that are PDFs, books, or otherwise long documents should have specific page numbers in the citations because this makes it easier for readers and other editors to verify claims. I.e. fill out the |page= or |pages= parameter
• This source seems rather useful for expanding the economy section. We should talk about the Port of Shanghai somewhere in the Economy section.
  • Thanks for the source!  Done for mentioning the port. Akira CA (talk)

Discussion

• @Akira CA: I've begun reviewing the article. Since it's quite long, we can both take our time reviewing and improving the article, respectively. Let me know if you have any questions or concerns. Bobbychan193 (talk) 00:15, 25 September 2019 (UTC)
  • @Bobbychan193: Got it. I've just fixed the dmy and the AM English issues, please let me know if I missed anything. Akira CA (talk) 08:40, 26 September 2019 (UTC)
    • @Akira CA: Glad to see you're still active. I'll continue the review sometime later today or tomorrow. In the meantime, can you try to address the citations in the lead? Also, try to use the {{done}} template under each feedback bulletpoint to let me know your status. Bobbychan193 (talk) 16:01, 26 September 2019 (UTC)
• Can you briefly explain what you did in this edit? In the future, try to have edit summaries to tell other editors what you changed. Bobbychan193 (talk) 19:14, 27 September 2019 (UTC)
  • Oof, sorry for that. I moved some citations from the lead to the body, and deleted overly detailed information (since it's the lead). Akira CA (talk) 11:05, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
• Ideally, every single claim in the article should be cited (with at least one reliable source), but for the purposes of this GAN, I'd be happy to pass this article if I feel that it's most of the way there. (I.e. most things are cited, and you address all of my comments to make improvements to the prose.) So, don't stress out too much about this. (If you're planning to take this to FAC in the future, which I highly encourage you to do, then it will be a lot more important.) Bobbychan193 (talk) 01:21, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
  • Got it. Akira CA (talk) 05:58, 1 October 2019 (UTC)
• @Akira CA: I've finished reviewing several large sections that might take you a few days to work through. Just {{ping}} me when you're done or almost done with everything, and I'll continue reviewing. Also, given the length of the article, I probably won't be doing a second review or a detailed review of your changes. I trust your editing. As always, let me know if you have any questions or concerns. Bobbychan193 (talk) 03:07, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
  • @Bobbychan193: Thanks for the hard works! I'm busy these days, but will inform you when I'm done with all these suggestions. Akira CA (talk) 05:58, 1 October 2019 (UTC)
• @Bobbychan193: Could you please tell me the difference between the {{Further}} template and the {{See also}} one? I saw both of them being used in the article. Akira CA (talk) 14:46, 1 October 2019 (UTC)
  • @Akira CA: From my understanding, {{further}} is for any article(s) providing further information on a topic. {{See also}} is for linking any article(s) related to (but not necessarily expanding upon) a topic. See the two template pages I linked for more information. Bobbychan193 (talk) 16:31, 1 October 2019 (UTC)
• Since I have some free time right now (and probably won't have much free time again until next Wednesday), I'll be continuing the review. Great work so far; keep it up. Bobbychan193 (talk) 02:41, 6 October 2019 (UTC)
  • Understood :3 Akira CA (talk) 02:47, 6 October 2019 (UTC)
• @Akira CA: I've simplified the wiki-syntax for the notes. Use the template I used going forward. See WP:EXPLNOTE and {{efn}} for more information. Bobbychan193 (talk) 00:12, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
• @The Account 1: Hey, I've noticed that you've made some improvements to the article. Any help is definitely appreciated. Are you an alt-account of Akira CA? Bobbychan193 (talk) 18:10, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
  • @Bobbychan193: I'm not. I just saw this article is currently nominated for Good Article status so I decided that I can help in this process. The Account 1 (talk) 18:12, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
    • @The Account 1: Sounds good, and I figured as much. Thanks for your help. I will continue the review later today. Bobbychan193 (talk) 18:19, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
    • @The Account 1 and Bobbychan193: Thank you both! I'm a little bit busy these days because my exam is coming, but will continue improving the article as soon as I have leisures. Akira CA (talk) 23:52, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
      • @Akira CA: No worries, take your time. Good luck on your exam. Bobbychan193 (talk) 00:37, 20 October 2019 (UTC)
• @Akira CA: Just a reminder that there's one last unresolved suggestion in the Religion subsection. I'm going to be busy for the next two or three days, but I'll try to resume the review sometime next week. If you want to get a head start in copy editing, adding citations, and refining the prose in the unreviewed sections, go for it :) Bobbychan193 (talk) 20:32, 27 October 2019 (UTC)
  •  Resolved, thanks for the work done so far :D Akira CA (talk) 06:30, 28 October 2019 (UTC)
• @Josephua: Hey, I saw you made some improvements to the article; it's much appreciated. If you have time, feel free to go through this GA review and the article's history to get a feel for the kinds of improvements that have already been made. You'll notice that there are certain recurring things, like American spelling, serial commas, and {{as of}} and {{convert}} templates. Consistency throughout the article is key. Let me know if you have any questions. Bobbychan193 (talk) 05:14, 1 November 2019 (UTC)
  • @Bobbychan193: I can take care of the grammar errors in the article. I was hoping when this article passes GA status, that it could be a base model for Shenzhen, which I am working on currently. - Josephua (talk) 05:17, 1 November 2019 (UTC)
    • @Josephua: Sounds good; best of luck with that article. A lot of the China-related articles are in pretty poor shape, so any help is much appreciated. Bobbychan193 (talk) 05:19, 1 November 2019 (UTC)
      • @Bobbychan193: Will do. - Josephua (talk) 05:55, 1 November 2019 (UTC)
• @Bobbychan193: The source [187] for "The system is operated by multiple companies" under public transportation is a permanent dead link. - Josephua (talk) 19:23, 1 November 2019 (UTC)
  • Good catch. @Akira CA: can you see if you can find another source? Bobbychan193 (talk) 19:39, 1 November 2019 (UTC)
    •  Done Akira CA (talk) 01:20, 3 November 2019 (UTC)
• @Akira CA: There is a citation needed template in the lead of the Culture section, which can be off-putting for GA reviewers. - Josephua ^(聊天) 17:58, 4 November 2019 (UTC)
  • @Josephua: Thank you. I've already noticed that, but haven't found any useful sources yet. Since I'm busy these days I'll deal with it in the next couple of weeks :) Akira CA (talk) 03:04, 5 November 2019 (UTC)
    • Take your time. There are several unresolved comments as well, and I'll resume the review once you finish them. Bobbychan193 (talk) 05:48, 6 November 2019 (UTC)
• @Akira CA: So I've just finished another round of comments; take your time. Seeing as this review has been continuing for almost two months now, I'll try to wrap things up. I'll be mostly focusing on the prose/MOS, as well as big, glaring issues like neutrality or original research. Everything else will be eventually be caught at the FAC level anyway. Let me know if you have any questions or concerns. Bobbychan193 (talk) 04:59, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
• @Akira CA and Bobbychan193: I'm putting "not done" templates to help you guys identify which comments are not done. It makes it easier for these comments to be assessed. If these comments are re-assessed, feel free to change it to the "done" template and end it with your signature. ;) - 祝好，Josephua ^(聊天) 22:23, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
• @Bobbychan193: Since the review has not been touched for a month already, I think it is time to start reviewing the Shanghai Culture section the way that it is right now. The review has been going on a bit too long already without a response. - 祝好，Josephua^(聊天) 16:06, 14 December 2019 (UTC)
  • I'm currently pretty busy with IRL stuff; will continue the review when I get a chance. @Akira CA: Do you have time to work on the Culture section? Bobbychan193 (talk) 19:30, 14 December 2019 (UTC)
    • OK. You can skip to the last few sections (Environment, Media, etc) while I'm working on it. Akira CA (talk) 05:45, 15 December 2019 (UTC)
• @The Account 1: If you have time, can you do the parks and resorts section? Thanks. - 祝好，Josephua^(聊天) 21:28, 31 December 2019 (UTC)
• @Bobbychan193: Parks and resorts are done, courtesy of @The Account 1:. Can you start 'Environmental protection' and 'Media / International relations?' I think it would be better if you reviewed both sections instead of one at a time. Thanks. - 祝好，Josephua^(聊天) 21:24, 2 February 2020 (UTC)
  • I'll review those sections when I have time. Bobbychan193 (talk) 03:16, 3 February 2020 (UTC)
• @Bobbychan193: Reminding you 'environmental protection' is done, courtesy of @Akira CA:, so you can start 'Media / International relations' when you have time. - 祝好，Josephua^(聊天) 04:30, 16 February 2020 (UTC)
  • @Akira CA and The Account 1: You can start 'Media / International relations' now. - 祝好，Josephua^(聊天) 17:39, 22 February 2020 (UTC)
• @Bobbychan193: Hi! I think we can finally set a start on the culture section, sorry for having kept you waiting so long. Akira CA (talk) 09:27, 8 March 2020 (UTC)
  • No problem. I will review it when I find the time. Bobbychan193 (talk) 04:33, 10 March 2020 (UTC)
    • Sorry for taking so long. Currently don't have a whole lot of free time due to the coronavirus pandemic. Bobbychan193 (talk) 16:09, 9 April 2020 (UTC)
      • that's ok, take your time, be safe! :) -- Akira😼CA 04:53, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
• @Akira CA: I've found a bit more free time recently; excited to resume the review and finally get this article passed. However, it's going to take me a few days to go through all the edits people have made in the past few months. Bobbychan193 (talk) 14:35, 26 May 2020 (UTC)
  • @Bobbychan193: Glad to hear that. I'm still on so if you have free time just review it. I'll follow your comments when I'm free :D -- Akira😼CA 03:56, 20 June 2020 (UTC)
    • Hey, just a little bit of an update: free time is scarce once again, and I'll try to resume the review when I'm less busy. Bobbychan193 (talk) 18:27, 13 July 2020 (UTC)
      • @Bobbychan193: Sure, take your time! If you have free time, just review it don't wait for me, since our free time may not match :D I will catch up when I'm free. -- Akira😼CA 05:41, 20 July 2020 (UTC)

Nothing added for over five months

Bobbychan193, Akira_CA, this review has not been added to for over five months, and has been open for over ten. That's far too long. I can understand that this is a difficult time, but there are other reviewers out there who could take over, since it's clear that Bobbychan193 simply cannot continue the review. It's past time to start this moving forward again. Thank you. BlueMoonset (talk) 14:44, 26 July 2020 (UTC)

I'm definitely open to someone else taking over the review. If I recall correctly, there's only one section left to review. Bobbychan193 (talk) 08:31, 27 July 2020 (UTC)

What is that one section? I would want a chance to review that section. -iaspostb□x+ 12:18, 31 July 2020 (UTC)

Oh, I just thought it was "Sports" all along! Silly me who gets confused. -iaspostb□x+ 12:20, 31 July 2020 (UTC)

There's a couple unsourced paragraphs in the Sports section, I'll try to find the necessary references. -iaspostb□x+ 12:21, 31 July 2020 (UTC)

I found all the references I needed for the section. -iaspostb□x+ 12:45, 31 July 2020 (UTC)

Now it's all there and done, so I am now passing this article. -iaspostb□x+ 12:48, 31 July 2020 (UTC)

@I'm Aya Syameimaru!: It was actually the entire Culture section. It's fine that you went ahead and passed it—the article was 95% of the way there anyway—but try to review/improve that section if you have time. Bobbychan193 (talk) 17:35, 31 July 2020 (UTC)

I'm very sorry, but a 25 minute review is simply not adequate under the circumstances, especially of such a large article. The new reviewer is responsible for the totality of the article as it is now—I can't believe that there was time to read the whole thing, much less consider the entire article against the GA criteria. (For example, the opening does not meet MOS:LEADLENGTH at five paragraphs, and MOS:LEAD is one part of the manual of style that is required in the GA criteria.) I have reverted the approval, and while I appreciate I'm Aya Syameimaru!|'s enthusiasm, under the circumstances, I wonder if a more experienced reviewer would be a better choice here given the length and complexity of the review. We need to get to 100% of the GA criteria, not a less than that. BlueMoonset (talk) 19:43, 31 July 2020 (UTC)

@BlueMoonset: Thanks for pointing out the lead. A few days ago I looked through all of the article's changes in the past several months to make sure there weren't any dramatic changes that would require a re-review, and that was the one thing I missed. Fixing now. Bobbychan193 (talk) 21:40, 31 July 2020 (UTC)

Actually, I'll resume the review now and hopefully wrap it up by today. Bobbychan193 (talk) 21:47, 31 July 2020 (UTC)

@BlueMoonset and Akira CA: I've finished the review. Please {{Ping}} me if I've missed any sections, or if anything else needs to be done. Thanks. Bobbychan193 (talk) 00:53, 1 August 2020 (UTC)

@Bobbychan193: I've finished following the comments. Thank you so much for your efforts and patience throughout :D @BlueMoonset: If anything else needs to be done please let us know. -- Akira😼CA 03:32, 6 August 2020 (UTC)

Akira_CA, I don't know of anything else that needs to be done review-wise; right now it's up to Bobbychan193 to decide whether the article meets the GA criteria or if more work is needed on any of the points raised so far (or something new that needs doing catches the eye). BlueMoonset (talk) 04:19, 6 August 2020 (UTC)

@BlueMoonset and Akira CA: Thank you both for bearing with me. I'm happy to pass the article now; congratulations Akira, and great work. I hope to see the article nominated for FAC at some point in the future. Bobbychan193 (talk) 08:46, 7 August 2020 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.