Talk:George Jameson (RNZAF officer)/GA1
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Reviewer: Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk · contribs) 13:17, 4 December 2022 (UTC)
I'll take a look at this shortly. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 13:17, 4 December 2022 (UTC)
Prelim[edit]
- The only duplicated link is DSO in the lede, which can probably be kept
- No edit wars
- Image is correctly licenced
- Earwig reports copyvio unlikely
Lede and infobox[edit]
- Suggest adding his middle name to the lede
- Move night-fighter link to first mention in lede
- Link sortie
- Suggest adding how/when he got the DFC to the lede
- Service number can be added to infobox from London Gazette
Early life[edit]
- Ref. #4 seems to link to the wrong newspaper article, it discusses his DFC not his education
- Can you provide any dates for the education?
Second World War[edit]
- "Jameson received his flight training"
- Link flying ace
- "Posted to No. 125 Squadron" based where?
- "in November he was awarded..." this sentence needs a rejig, doesn't work later on
- "with the assistance of radar Jameson shot up"
- How exactly is radar helping him shoot an aircraft engine? Did it perhaps tell him where the aircraft was?
- "flying operations"?
- Do we know which OTU it was?
- A more particular date would be useful for the OTU, you've leaving me to guess anywhere between February and December!
- "Norman Crookes" give Crookes his rank if possible - would be useful to mention somewhere that both his planes are double seaters
- "Crooks combined" sp?
- "A Ju 88 was destroyed" this doesn't actually make it clear that Jameson was the one to do the destroying
- Link anti-aircraft gun
- Temporary situation or temporary station?
- "This second Ju 88" technically this is the third Ju 88
- Link sortie
- "he was able to score hits"
- Link cockpit
- "a Ju 88 was destroyed over Avranches" again, not made clear this is Jameson's work
- "September 1944" repeated year
- "The same month..." too much "sortie" in this sentence!
- Give the acres number a conversion, probably to hectares?
- "memorabilia" seems a little tacky, could you describe it better?
References[edit]
- Repeat earlier cmt about ref. #4
- Other references look ok, AGF with print sources
@Zawed: Hi, that's all I have for now. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 20:38, 9 December 2022 (UTC)
- Pickersgill-Cunliffe thanks for the detailed review, I have responded to your various comments as above. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 08:15, 10 December 2022 (UTC)
- @Zawed: Edits look good. A few final points:
- Link Flying Officer
- Either "two-seater De Havilland Mosquitos" or "the two-seater De Havilland Mosquito"
- You don't mention any of his ranks before flight lieutenant, it would be useful if you can provide at least one of them
- That's all I've got. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 19:52, 10 December 2022 (UTC)
- Thanks, responded as above. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 21:46, 10 December 2022 (UTC)
- @Zawed: Passing this article as satisfying the GA criteria. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 01:51, 11 December 2022 (UTC)
- Thanks, responded as above. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 21:46, 10 December 2022 (UTC)
- @Zawed: Edits look good. A few final points: