Talk:Basil Collyns/GA1
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GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk · contribs) 10:03, 22 August 2022 (UTC)
I'll get to this shortly. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 10:03, 22 August 2022 (UTC)
Prelim[edit]
- No duplicated links
- No edit wars
- Source links on File:Hawker Hurricane.jpg are broken. Other images are correctly licensed
- Earwig reports no copyvio
Lede and infobox[edit]
- "achieved a number of aerial victories until his death on 20 August." suggest stating the exact number of victories here
- "before being killed in action" instead of "until his death"
- Service years has its own parameter in the infobox
- Lede currently reads like he was part of No. 65 Sqn when he was killed
Early life[edit]
- Link bantamweight
- Not sure exactly what the "1930 school athletic sports" were, but if it was just a school-wide competition I think his second place in the high jump and cricket ball throwing skills are probably a little trivial - saying he was a successful sportsman might be more appropriate
- Link commission
- Is Marlborough a place that could be linked?
Second World War[edit]
- Link Second World War (!)
- Could add nickname to infobox
- "on 5 March 1940" awkward reading when you've discussed dates in 1940 without including the year before this
- Ibid next sentence year repetition
- Link sorties
- He trained on Hurricanes; was this what 238/601/1 Sqns flew?
- Did he see combat/service with 601?
- I know we've discussed exact dates for promotions and the like in the past; I think it would be useful to know how soon after his first kill he was promoted. This would all be a lot easier if the London Gazette had carried all the promotions..!
- Have mentioned more precisely the time of promotion. I haven't put the precise date as one thing I try to do with fighter pilot articles, which I find are often "date heavy" is to vary the language for expressing dates - so if an exact date is in the same or near sentence, I often will say week/month later rather than an exact date. Zawed (talk) 01:44, 10 September 2022 (UTC)
- What are we considering a "tour of operations" to be?
- You provide the associated RAF station for some of his squadrons but not all? E.g. 601, 60 OTU, 485
- You're very selective about which units get put on the infobox list and which don't; what's your criteria?
- What did 222 fly?
- Suggest noting that CGS was at Sutton Bridge
- AFDU flew some interesting stuff; are there any more details about what he was doing during the collision flight (and can you say when it was)?
- Does he only serve at 1493 in June? When is he posted to 65?
- Move the Normandy link to first occurrence
- "On 19 April" I assume that this is 1944 but you don't say for sure
- Do we know what he was shot down by?
References[edit]
- References look good, all links work. Might suggest splitting ref. #12 but that's a very minor quibble
@Zawed: That's my initial run through finished. Per my earlier edit summary sincere apologies for taking so long on this. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 16:07, 5 September 2022 (UTC)
- @Pickersgill-Cunliffe:, thanks for the thorough review. I have dealt with/responded to the various issues identified. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 02:19, 10 September 2022 (UTC)
- @Zawed: Passing this article as satisfying the GA criteria. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 13:02, 11 September 2022 (UTC)